After thinking a while I left her now I'm in florida thinking how to get myself to do the things that need to be done. It have been really hard for my spirit to get to florida, 1 week and a half have pass, now my spirit is arriving(literaly) my awarenes of the energies around me, growing again. Had a lucid dream today after weeks :). I'm doing tai chi and exercises most of the days of week. Thinking how to balance the male and female energies without a companion.

This days have been once again confrontations inside me. I have doubts in my mind to stay with my girlfriend. I dont think she will be ok if she finds this blog, but she is not in this comunity and doubtfuly will be, unless she wants to se my profile. Anyway I feel the she is and will be , in between my goals toward being prepare for the 2012. I will go to florida and be away from her , she doesnt think thats hard for the relationship to stay strong but she know (I think) that I'm having doubts about this far relationship. I dont have the will to keep writing, I dont think lol anyonw will read this but I feel better writing it.

If you read this raquel I'm sorry, just want advice, just want to give up easly.